Showing posts with label H4 saga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label H4 saga. Show all posts

Thursday, July 9, 2009

H4 saga: Part 2a: What you say?

"How can you say Amaerikka is boring??? Your appa and I watched that movie "Amaerikka Amaerikka" only last week. So many cars, such tall buildings, all those fair girls with yellow hair you should be so happy to be there..." amma's gyan

"Just try to adjust it will become ok after a few days" appa's logic

"All you young girls have got one word, "bore" everything is 'bore". We never complained about anything. Have a baby then you won't be bored anymore. When I was your age I had 4 kids and..." ajji's rubbish

"How I can make them understand? Compare maybe?" thinks Rani and does just that.

1) Meeting friends:
India- Call them up, fix up a time & venue and meet up.
US- If you are lucky you might have friends here. If you do, then you must be doubly lucky to have them living in your state. If you want to meet them, you MUST know how to drive. There are no autos or buses that ferry you. Or you can wait for your husband to take you (which means you cannot bitch about him- what's the use?)

2) Grocery shopping:
I- Walk to the market or wait for the vegetable vendor to make his morning rounds.
U- If you are lucky you might have a grocery store within walking distance. If not, you have to wait for your husband to come home and take you because you cannot drive.

3) Learning to drive:
I- Go get into a school do the lessons, take driving lessons, then the road test.
U- If you are lucky and have a social security number (SSN) and the people at the DMV office don't make your life a living hell, then you can take the learners' permit test, then go through the alcohol and drug classes, 101 tests, learn that wretched parallel parking and finally pass the road test.

4) Calling home:
I- Pick up the phone and dial.
U- First google the time in India. If you feel your relatives are not in zombie state call them.

5) Studying:
I- Put in an application for a course, pay the fees and go do the course.
U- Clear GRE and TOEFL write a mind blowing SOP, apply to 10 schools hoping to get into 1 of them. If you are lucky you will get in. Next pray that they give you aid, if not a complete aid at least in-state tuition.

6) Weddings, funerals, baby shower, baby-being-put-in-a-cradle ceremony, naming ceremony, thread ceremony, birthdays, Ganesh chathurthi, Diwali, Holi and all other festivals and poojas:
I- family, fun and food.
U- If you are lucky you might get some desi friends to celebrate birthdays and festivals with you. For the other events that happen exclusively in India like weddings and funerals, you can either pay 1200$ and fly there or sit whining/crying here.

"Hello A? Remember, last week you were telling me how our honeymoon was so short and that we should go some place exotic for a 2nd honeymoon?"
"Oh yes, dahling. Plan something I will look at it when I get back from work."

Google: Cheap tickets to India.


Note:
I had no intention of doing this post. But a few people(who read my previous post) felt that homemakers in India are sailing in the same boat as people with H4 visa, I don't think so. Then J read this post and felt I was not the right person to make a comparison because,
a) I am biased, this is true I hate H4 visa.
b) I have never been a homemaker. This is true as well, I was working full time in India and I stayed at home for just 4 months in the US before I started grad school.

So dear readers, what you say?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

H4 saga: Part 2-The initial days

Warning: Due to popular demand I had to continue this series. After reading it, if you lose your screws or are affected mentally in any way I am not to blame.

1 bowl of Quaker oats and a cup of coffee, Mr. A is off to make money, "Don't worry dahling, this is a very safe area. Just make sure you don't talk to anyone or make eye contact, don't pet the cats/dogs, don't go near those jurassic-park sized squirrels. I think you will be fine"
tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc...
only 9 am hmm...
tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc...
just 9.07 am ? Damn.
Gmail, Orkut, Facebook, MySpace
9.20 am Fck!
Orkut, orkut, Gmail.
Google " pirated Hindi movies"
9. 45 am arghhh!!!
Orkut, Facebook, Gmail, Orkut.
Google "Yahoo games"
10 am
"I am so bored. When are you coming home?"
"Dahling I just got here. I have a meeting now, later ok?"
10.30 am
Orkut, Facebook, Gmail, Orkut, Facebook
11am
tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc....
Orkut , Facebook
Google "how to make tomato rasam"
2 smashed tomatoes, one tamarind-paste smeared counter, one dal splattered wall and 1 cooker facial later, tomato rasam ready.
1 pm
"when are you coming home? I made rasam and all. Come soon"
"Meeting, meeting... later"
1.30 pm
orkut, orkut, facebook yawwwwnnn... ZZZzzzzzzz....
3 pm
Chai
3.30 pm
Orkut, Gmail, Facebook, Gmail
4 pm
Yahoo games
5 pm
"I want to go back to INDIA wahhh wahh wahhhhhhhhhh.... sniff sniff snort snort...I hate this place, I don't want to stay here anymore, sniff, sob, I am packing my suitcase, I hate this H4 visa, I hate everyone, I should not have married you sniff, I am going back home, sob, sob,sniff..."
850 ml tears
"Dahling, I am leaving right now. There, there everything will be alright. I will be home any minute now"
6 pm
2 hugs, 1 snot and tear covered Raymond shirt, 1 red-nosed Rani; teary but happy *I should have used this Meena Kumari act at 10 am!*

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

H4 saga: Part 1

Mr. A is perfect, just perfect in all ways- good job, glasses which make him look smart, seems to be a nice man, head full of hair..one glitch - he works in US of A, with a H1 visa. This means Rani will have to trade her lucrative job, which pays for her chaats/phone bills/eyebrow threading/monthly waxing, for the dreaded H4 visa.
"You are already 28, don't miss the boat. Also, as you age hair growth slows down so no need for waxing" moans the amma.
"Arre yaar, he has hair no? See Priya married a taklu guy your case is much better" says the wise friend.
"Have you made up your mind yet?" enquires the appa.
"Girls should not be given choices, when I was your age I had 4 kids already" spits the "shriveled with wisdom and experience" ajji.

1 engagement, 4 months gap, 1 wedding, 4 days Ooty honeymoon, teary farewell to hubby, long line outside the visa office with promised offerings to Tirupathi if visa is stamped, 20 mins trying to explain to the English lady about Kancheepuram sarees, FINALLY H4 visa--success!!
2 suitcases filled with pickles, rasam powder, sambhar powder, amma says, "aioo you might not get all these things in Aamerikka. Also, nothing can come close to home made", 10 desi bras-America experienced presently H4 friend says, "ekkkss American bra is all pads and metal wire, better get India bra", "just bring yourself dahling! " coos the hubby. More tears and goodbye. Awful aeroplane food and stinky passengers, Rani steps out to the land of milk and honey (Thanks ya Bikerdude!!) and falls right into her beloved's waiting arms.
Unfortunately she has come in December. Aioioooo, Govindaaa....
"Oh no! This is just like the set from the Ring movie, so cold and dark"
"heeheehee, don't worry dahling, you will get adjusted."

Guys do you want me to continue this? It's your call. I won't if you don't want me to :P