Raavan- A cure for insomniacs
Actor : Character -- Role
Abhishek : Bheera--bandit
Aishwarya : Ragini--annoying wife of Vikram
Vikram : Droooooooll--police officer or SP or DGP or something droollll
Govinda : God knows--monkey left to roam free, due to human error
Story:
Vikram drooolll.... comes to capture Bheera. Instead, Bheera captures Ragini. Vikram with that let loose monkey and several other extras dressed in army outfits (really army to capture a bandit?) set out to bring back Ragini and to catch Bheera.
Scene 1: Interaction between Bheera and Ragini, part 1
Bheera- bak bak bak jhik jhik jhik
Ragini- screech I am not afraid of you..I am not afraid of death screeechhh…
Bheera- bak bak jhik jhik
Scene 2:
Vikram drool drip drip… comes to the place where Ragini was held captive. He sees her dress, drops on the ground.
Dream scene-
Ragini in ultra short blouse and low waist saree calls herself a classical dancer, teaches dance to 50 kids in her cramped 1 bedroom flat.
Ragini- jatak matak ooo look at my tiny waist jatak and my smooth skin matak matak…I can’t act but who cares.
Vikram – my dear Raginiiiii…boohoooo….
End of dream scene
Scene 3: Interaction between Bheera and Ragini, part 2
Bheera- bak bak bak jhik jhik jhik
Ragini- screechhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …arches eyebrows, fake tears..screechhhh… Thank god for water-proof eyeliners screechhh.....
Scene 4: Bheera and Vikram clash on a bridge
Vikram- ohh look at my muscles, they look so good in this ultra tight Roopa baniyan. Dishumm dishum
Bheera- Saalee… dishum
London Bridge is falling down, falling down, both of them too.
Scene 5: Who gets Ragini?
Bheera emerges.
Bheera- I am donating you to that guy. Have fun.
Bheera disappears.
Vikram emerges.
Vikram- Awesome baniyan material, I fell 30 ft not a hole in the cloth. Must get some more.
Vikram- Ragini, I can see that you are ok. Where is Bheera? Dammit I missed him. Next time.
Ragini- Bats eyelids..fake tears. Haila! my heroooo…
Scene 6: Agni..something
Vikram- You must have done some hanky-panky with Bheera no? You were with him for 14 days and 14 NIGHTS.
Ragini- What rubbish. Who told you so?
Vikram- Bheera only. If you are really telling the truth take a polygraph test. (I SWEAR this is what he tells her).
Ragini- What?! Arches eyebrows, bats eyelids…Noooo…
Vikram- Stop your eye exercise, you are making me nauseas.
Ragini- Gasp! How rude!
Pulls the red lever meant to stop a train during emergency.
Vikram- Who is going to pay the fine for pulling that lever? Your maama?
Scene 7: Ragini confronts Bheera
Ragini- What did you tell my pati?
Bheera- That you are even more shiny and pure than 24ct gold.
Ragini- Pupils dialate. Reaaallyyyyy??? How shweettt…. Vikram didn’t believe me, he said things. Things that I cannot tell you in public. Fake tears….
Bheera- Really? Will you stay with me?
Ragini- Arches eyebrows, bats eyelids…giggle
Bheera- I love what you do with your eyes
Ragini- arches eyebrows, bats eyelids…giggle
Bheera- Waiiiiiiitttttt a minitteee… Does he know you are here? He has used you as a bait to locate me.
Ragini- Chee don’t be silly. If he had that much budhi, he would have caught you long ago.
Scene 8: Last scene THANK GOD.
Tan tan tanadannnnaaaannnnnnnnnnn…
Vikram comes with the entire Indian army and all the Alsatian dogs in Bangalore.
Vikram- Hasta la vista Bheera..
Ragini- Noooo… eess koo maath maarooo….
Vikram- Ragini, come I will get you the Cover girl lash blast mascara, come here.
Ragini- sachi muchi? Ok.
Doom doom doom…
Bheera- ahhhh….
Dudhak. RIP.
The End.
Rating- 2/10 (2 is only for Vikram). Mani Ratnam please take VRS.
PS1- This piece is dedicated to my friend K who is struggling in Basel without entertainment.
PS2- I am sorry this space was ignored for so many months. I am occupied with other things right now and this space shall be dusted occasionally.
PS3- Its not good to take such long breaks. It took me so long to write this crap review, you guys better leave a nice comment, if you are leaving one.
PS 4- To that nut job who is leaving me a comment in Chinese or Japanese or Korean for the Dorie Greenspan post, stop it. I get it that you like the cookie but you don’t have to leave a comment every week!!
PS1- This piece is dedicated to my friend K who is struggling in Basel without entertainment.
PS2- I am sorry this space was ignored for so many months. I am occupied with other things right now and this space shall be dusted occasionally.
PS3- Its not good to take such long breaks. It took me so long to write this crap review, you guys better leave a nice comment, if you are leaving one.
PS 4- To that nut job who is leaving me a comment in Chinese or Japanese or Korean for the Dorie Greenspan post, stop it. I get it that you like the cookie but you don’t have to leave a comment every week!!
