The sms convo post - the one that could potentially jeopardize my industrious blogging career

me- off2 d beach v go, u guys cuming?
my sis- want to but i hav my blud cancer...cnt cum :(
me- ohh my condolences.
she-oh i know. Thank u
me- actually i wanted 2 write pls convey my condolence to ur uterus :D
she- podi luse. My uterus is cryin blud tears..
me- aioo papa rakta kaneeru? Actually tell P my condolences dis time also he cudnt get u preggers hahahahhahahahaha :D
she- aioo i dnt want also di. Thank u
me-Then remove that uterus and throw it in the bin di, chumma waste of space n money buyn pads. U fill dat empty space with anothr lung or kidney.
she- actually ur rite. its a waste of space n money...U want ah di xtra uterus?
me- no space sorry.
me- I think i mite put our convo on d blog watduthink?
she- I'l kill u di i swear. I'l cme n drown u in d beach..
me- Y di? Its funny no? Nobody knws u anyway so y r u worid?
she-R u kiddin me?
me- hey i need anthr post man n dis is a gud story, pls di.
she- Nooo...

*as you can see my sis and I are missing few vital screws.
*people with siblings, is this normal?
*she doesn't even live in Chennai, so she couldn't have come to the beach if she wanted.
* this might be the end of Masala Vade, goodbye my dear readers.

Why my kiddo will not get LKG admission.

Me- I was looking at that school your friend recommended, they have an entrance exam for std.1 to 12th admission!!! And for LKG/UKG admission the kid has to answer their questions and identify colours or something.
Jay- That is so retarded!
Me- yaa I know. Anyway, I taught the boy something new today morning. Wait I'll show.
Me- Chinnu, toilet paper yakke use madthare? (what do we use toilet paper for?)
The Boy- SAMBHAR!

*He probably won't get an admit even in the govt. schools!
*If you are wondering why I taught him about toilet paper, well, we spend half our day in the loo so its natural that we end up talking about tap, water, potty, flush, toilet paper sigh.
*and no I don't use toilet paper in my sambhar.