Thursday, March 19, 2009

American Eccentricities

Having lived here for 3 years, I still cannot come to terms with some funny/weird things Americans do/say. Here are the top ten American bizzaros,

1. Constant -How are you's
K- Hey how are you?
Me- Good good...
K- Hey how are you?
Me- K, I last saw you 4 hours ago! Nothing drastic could have happened in that time no?!

2. Funny greeting styles
Sp- Yo! Whats up?
Me- Aaa... the sky?!!

3. Animals=Humans
Me- Our weekend sucked! Wish we had company.
Nat- You should so get a dog/cat.
I never knew animals could talk-atleast the ones in India don't.

4. Humans=Animals
My friend B to her 4 yr old son- Good job V, I am so proud of you!
Cesar Millan on his show Dog Whisperer- Good job Izzy.

5. Inanimate objects=Humans
Nat- We have named our white car as Bel and our new Mazda is called Pepper. Whats your car's name?
Me- Aaa...we are calling it 'car' for now.

6. Their hypocritical view on animal welfare
Nat- I cannot understand how one can take part in dog fights its so cruel. Dogs have feelings as well you know. I think those cruel people ought to be shot yada yada yada....
And all this time she is chomping on a plate full of lamb vindaloo. So lambs have no feelings? I don't think the lamb volunteered to be her vindaloo!

7. Over- and unwarranted use of the word 'like'
Me- So what did you guys think about the research article?
Student - I think he tried to like justify his research cos he was like saying that like his new glowing bunny was like an art piece. But I like think that he was not like totally sure of his research like it seemed as if he was trying like hard to impress other scientists.

8. I am normal, they are shocked
Sp- Hey, I made some beer, you want to try it?
Me- No thanks. I don't drink
Sp- What?! Never?
Me- No never.
Sp- Really?

9. They are normal, I am shocked
Me- You still here? Not going home for the Christmas break?
Sp- Nah! I am staying here.
Me- Don't you want to be with family?
Sp- I hate my family
Me- Really?

10. Their obsessions,
a. When they mean large, they mean LARGE- Their large popcorn is the size of a small bucket in India
b. Gimme more...SUGAR- A pancake is a pancake only when its bathed in 1 liter of maple syrup.
c. Addiction to butter/cream cheese- Four ladles of cream cheese to make the bagel go down.

With this post I have proved beyond doubt that I am a typical desi- bitchy and dissatisfied with everything/everyone. But hey, whoever said bitching was bad?

Now you know why I blog anonymously!


  1. Will read this after commenting.

    No, I just have blocked comments for that post. Sorry :( Was in a rotten mood.

    email me, I say!

  2. Ok, I'm with you on EVERY single point. Can I say that I hate hate hate this country, absolutely?

    And I use 'like' a lot. I'm sorry,I'm like that after you know, like, living in this country

    *note the bad punctuation*

  3. Ya, it is therapy indeed. To be frank, I feel I'm here in this situation coz of the geographical location I am in.

    I'm frankly tired of talking about it simply coz it ends in a huge emotional roller coaster every single time

  4. LOL you crack me up woman!

    Any friends found? You should read my post on finding friends.Sigh.

  5. @Nandini
    Very nice to know I have another person hating the US -just like me..

  6. ayyo. I know how it is :( Totally do. I was and I'm still there in some ways :(

    Have you tried MD bloggers?

  7. @Nandini,
    i don't know how to search for MD bloggers. I jazzed up your ragi roti and proved I am a sweet person awww... move to MD no?!

  8. Gosh you are indeed the nicest!! I love you. Be my online friend, will you? I will make it worthwhile, promise!

    And you know what - I certainly wish I could move! I'd move if given a chance.Coz I have a good friend who is single in MD. If I get a job in MD or if I get to study there, I will promise to tell you first :D

  9. I have never used that! And thanks for the tip. Will try it with the next post, promise!

  10. LMAO ...some of those were awesome! I've never really stopped to read b/w the lines and question it like you just did!
    Aren't there any cool peeps at school you can befriend?!

  11. hehehe.. i have a bunch of these for where i live. unfortunately, i don't blog anon :D

  12. Its amazing that we're chatting through each other's blogs. LOL!

    :) but ya, I know I'm kinda lucky he cooks this often. Just that I hate to hear it. Tired of it. Just as I cook for him, he does no? So, why am I the only lucky one?

  13. @ Ranjani,
    I really did not think this post was funny, I thinking of deleting it. J found this post to be the funniest! He was laughing away to glory! All the peeps are americans- I want desis...thayir sadam, masala dosai type.

    Where in s'pore? I know one thing they do-- one dholla 1 dholla buy lah!

    @ Nandini,
    Umm.. thats cos your duty is to cook and do seva to your pathi devaru. So no compliments to you, sorry.

  14. LOL...
    what u call ur car a 'Car'? we call ours Lajjo Rani ;)

  15. LOL!! I hate small talks. Why can't they just say what they want and get over it! :P

    Love the #10!

    Yes, they do prefer dogs to kids most of the time! Haha!

  16. @ Sia,
    Hmm.. lajjo rani eh? We might name him Bhagat Singh then!

    I love your dog!

  17. U r soooo like OMG!!! like u know what... ur maaaa... so bitchy n so dissatissfied wit everytng!!!

  18. LOL....the like was the best one..hmm okie most of it ;)

  19. Ummmm.... maybe I would still visit!! After this post definitely a visitor:). You miss India badly, don't you? Sometimes one has to make compromises or take tough decisions. Come back dear!!

    The 'like' thing is in these days (in India too) thanks to all those serials on Disney!! When my daughter says that I stop her but sometimes I just go back in time and remember how my father hated it when we said 'hi' instead of 'hello'! He uses 'hi' or 'hey' quite often these days though:).

  20. Uhmm...I am not sure one can generalize to a such extent. I know a lot of Indians who love their pets uber dearly, who name their cars, and who go super large when it comes to things like rice and ghee. At the same time, I have met lots of Americans who are strongly attached to family, so much so that they move back in with their parents after college, and refuse to leave their small towns because family is there, who are religious and would never drink beer and so much more.
    I remember the intense dissatisfaction, loneliness and culture shock I felt when I first moved here about 7 years ago. But remembering the brilliant opportunities that had opened for me (in terms of grad school & later work), and the fact that I made the choice to move pulled me through.
    I think you are extremely lucky in that you are not going through this expat experience alone and that you have your mate to hang on to.
    Here's to finding little oases of satisfaction & goodness wherever your chosen opportunities take you.
    Good luck!

  21. I loved this post..totally understand your feelings as am on the verge of posting one like this..:D


To avoid letting your comments go to my trash, always appreciate me and my posts! I will do the same :P