Having lived here for 3 years, I still cannot come to terms with some funny/weird things Americans do/say. Here are the top ten American bizzaros,
1. Constant -How are you's
K- Hey how are you?
Me- Good good...
K- Hey how are you?
Me- K, I last saw you 4 hours ago! Nothing drastic could have happened in that time no?!
2. Funny greeting styles
Sp- Yo! Whats up?
Me- Aaa... the sky?!!
Me- Our weekend sucked! Wish we had company.
Nat- You should so get a dog/cat.
I never knew animals could talk-atleast the ones in India don't.
My friend B to her 4 yr old son- Good job V, I am so proud of you!
Cesar Millan on his show Dog Whisperer- Good job Izzy.
5. Inanimate objects=Humans
Nat- We have named our white car as Bel and our new Mazda is called Pepper. Whats your car's name?
Me- Aaa...we are calling it 'car' for now.
6. Their hypocritical view on animal welfare
Nat- I cannot understand how one can take part in dog fights its so cruel. Dogs have feelings as well you know. I think those cruel people ought to be shot yada yada yada....
And all this time she is chomping on a plate full of lamb vindaloo. So lambs have no feelings? I don't think the lamb volunteered to be her vindaloo!
7. Over- and unwarranted use of the word 'like'
Me- So what did you guys think about the research article?
Student - I think he tried to like justify his research cos he was like saying that like his new glowing bunny was like an art piece. But I like think that he was not like totally sure of his research like it seemed as if he was trying like hard to impress other scientists.
8. I am normal, they are shocked
Sp- Hey, I made some beer, you want to try it?
Me- No thanks. I don't drink
Sp- What?! Never?
Me- No never.
9. They are normal, I am shocked
Me- You still here? Not going home for the Christmas break?
Sp- Nah! I am staying here.
Me- Don't you want to be with family?
Sp- I hate my family
10. Their obsessions,
a. When they mean large, they mean LARGE- Their large popcorn is the size of a small bucket in India
b. Gimme more...SUGAR- A pancake is a pancake only when its bathed in 1 liter of maple syrup.
c. Addiction to butter/cream cheese- Four ladles of cream cheese to make the bagel go down.
With this post I have proved beyond doubt that I am a typical desi- bitchy and dissatisfied with everything/everyone. But hey, whoever said bitching was bad?
Now you know why I blog anonymously!