"Hudugi nodakke bartha edhare ree.." which loosely translates to "they are coming to see the girl".
Who said this- my mom
To whom- to all
Who are 'they'- boy's family
Who is the girl- me
When was this said- when I attained marriageable age (*puke!!*)
How many times was this said- very often!
Yea, I was 'interviewed' by 3 blokes and 1 MOB (mom-of-bloke) before I found the right one. In India, girl-seeing (this is literal translation of hudugi nodathu/ponnu pakarthu) is considered a serious task- 3 people should not go to see the girl (it should be some even number), one cannot just walk into the girl's house-there is an auspicious time set out for that! The girl's side, on their part has to prepare some thindi/tiffin (to trick the boy into believing that the girl is Tarla Dalal's guru!), and there are some crazy MOB's that ask the girl to sing and dance (to ensure her vocal cords/limbs are in perfect working condition). This last sentence is not a joke- my granny made my mom parade up and down the hall! Well, she did strut the runway. And because she possessed hind-limbs that moved without any creaks and fore-limbs that swayed in rhythm (wow! bonus feature!), she won the jackpot- my Dad!!! Fortunately for me I did not have to do the last one -I would not have done it even if the boy was Abhishek Bachchan!!
Anyways, my interviews were something like this,
Interview # 1
Mom all excited, Su took the day off from work to witness this (she thought it was a once-in-lifetime event like an eclipse or something, little did she know that it would be more like sunshine- you see it everyday!!!)
Tiffin- Rave idly, Kai chutney, bisi-bisi filter kaapi.
MOB- So...you are a Biotech grad? Where are you working?
Me- I am still searching for a job.
MOB- Oh! My son is in Arkansas, doing his MD.
Me- *tell me something new lady. I already checked out his profile on shaadi dot com* Oh Thats nice.
20 long minutes of such crap talk they finally left. Her parting words?
MOB- Rave idly thumba channagithu (tasty). Good luck with your job-hunt.
Interview # 2
Mom all excited. Su did not take the day off from work (clever girl).
Tiffin- Ras malai, bisi- bisi badami hallu (hot badam milk), uppitu (upma).
Bloke- What do you want to do in future?
Me- I am trying for my PhD abroad. I just gave my GRE.
Bloke- Hmm... I will be leaving to the US shortly... I have seen Japan, China, Taiwan etc. This time around I want to visit all of Europe and US.
Me- *So why are you here instead of a travel agency?!* Hmm...
10 minutes of small talk before they said 'tata-byebye'. Now this bloke was hooked up by some broker aunty. I am so glad she was not my mom. Why?
broker aunty- The boy has said yes. What is your daughter's opinion?
mom- She did not like him. Seems he did not say anything positive about her higher studies.
broker aunty- Aiyiooo...rammaa! Huduganna hatra Ford car ede ree... Nimma magalige oppikollake heli.
(Oh God! the boy owns a Ford car, tell your daughter to say yes)
Interview # 3
Mom still excited (though its considerably decreased) Su at home (because its a Sunday!!)
Tiffin- Filter kaapi, A1 Hot Chips.
Me- I do not want to see this guy. He is 8 years elder to me. How can you bear to get me married to an uncleji?
Mom- You have not even seen him, how can you say he is uncle ji?
Su- Dear Sis, do you not know that saying?
Me- What saying?
Su- Old is Gold. LOL.
Him- I am a pediatrician, but I prefer to call myself a child-specialist. I have finished my MD in Mumbai, FRCS in London at present I am practicing in the US. My hobbies include reading 20 journal articles a day, going through the Economic times, listening to Carnatic and Hindustani music. My favorites are Pandit Jasrag and Gangubai Hanagal. I prefer a girl who is willing to live with my parents and brother's family. My brother is a famous dentist in KR puram. His wife is a doctor. I am moving back to India in another year. So you know it will be one big happy family. What do you think?
Me- I think I hear my phone ring. Excuse me.
-Never went near him again-
Mom trying real hard to be excited. Su (over the phone) 'tell me when its all over, I will come home then.'
Tiffin- Half a glass hot milk.
Me- My name is S. Whats yours?
Me- What do you do in the US?
Me-Where McDonalds a?
Him- No, Verizon.
Me- What is that?
Him- Phone company.
Me- Wonderful! I cannot adjust the volume on my cell-phone. Can you fix it?
Him- no...no...not that kind. I'm in IT.
Me- Oh, I'm in BT!! LOL!! Get it? IT..BT! You don't? Hmmm...
I spent a good 30 minutes interrogating him (and telling him terrible PJs). And I married Bloke #4. Are you thinking this is why? (see video below)
No! Mujhe pyaar naahin hua, nahin huaaa....alla hua miyaaaaaaaaaan...
The man got me a big box of Ferrero-Rocher chocolates on our 2nd meeting! Thats why!!