Thursday, July 23, 2009

Mid-term exam

Name: SJ
Date: 07/23/09
Course name: AIO900: Topics in common sense and nonsense

Watch the video below and follow the instructions given-



Instructions: This exam is worth 150 points toward your grade for the course. For each question, write a 20=30 word short answer in response. Please type your responses. You will be graded on your understanding of the issue(s) related to each question, your ability to draw on examples, as well the articulation of your own conclusions and reasoning on these issues. Remember that your argument will be more important than the specific answer or stance you take on an issue.
However, all responses must be written in your own words. Plagiarism will not be tolerated. If you specifically mention the ideas or experimental results of others, they should be cited. (Please use “(Author, Year)” format in the text.)

1) Would you prance around town in that saree-bra-blouse-dupatta whatever that she is wearing?
Umm..no because my tummy looks like an anaconda that has swallowed a bison whole. I don't want to give anyone on the road a heart attack.

2) Will you give directions to a strange helmet man?
No, the helmet man might be Osama bin laden in disguise. I don't want antharax all over me, no thank you. Tomato ketchup/chutney/cake frosting/frooti/ice cream etc are all ok, but not antharax.

3) Will you accept pink teddy bears from the strange helmet man?
Of course, I will. I live, breathe and eat free. I would collect as much of those as I can and sell them.

4) Are you wiling to run from one end of the road to the other for no reason?
Unless I have my mom chasing me for not doing my homework or Jay running behind me with an axe because I burned the house down during one of my cooking experiments, I don't run. So no, I won't run, maybe catwalk?

5) What would you do if you find out the helmet guy is John Abraham?
Take him to a five star restaurant, gorge on the food and make him foot the bill. Then take him to a secluded place and hurt him for dating Bipasha and finally give him a haircut and a shave.

6) What if Pankaj Udas was nearby?
I would get his autograph, then photograph and beg him to give his belt and coat. Then put all these on e-bay.

7) Your reaction when you saw, 'Marry me..huh?'
No bling, no chocolates, no house, no car, 1 useless bike where I am supposed to put the grocery and the kids? On my head?

I hope I get full marks on this exam, pray for me guys.

12 comments:

  1. lol..u r totally hilarious.
    so, hows the prep goin on? seriously!

    loved the ebay bit..full marks on that!! and overall ...how are the 150 points divided?
    is it possible to get a 200, par above excellence?

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. I won't coz John will know that I already have a little brat at home.

    2. I will only after checking the brand name of the helmet.

    3. I will collect them and put up on my blog as give-aways and thus increase my hits and comments and thus not worry about what to do for a post

    4. I would run only if the two end points had Johnny Depp and a free Chocolate vending machine

    5. I would show him off to the world as my gym trainer and then am sure people will stop watching his movies and trying to ape his exercise routine after seeing my gym body!! I am here to save the world u see..

    6. OMG I would gasp and ask is he still alive??

    7. I sang "marry me dekha tho main sarong uthar ke apni mukda chupana boolgayi"

    Madam for your info whichever place that was shown in the video had a serious drought after the gal forgot to fill water in the pots!!!

    How much do i score and do I get Johnny Depp???

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  3. i am not going to take this test cuz i think you will delete them if i am funnier/smarter than you in the answers (actually dont think i can do better than that on a friday morning)

    this posts proves why i still tolerate ur pings :D sigh..

    ReplyDelete
  4. C'mon John, you could have done better. Was expecting you to drop your jockeys and show us some butt.You only took off part of your jacket. Not fair. I want my money back SJ.
    I flunk the test. I was so busy looking at John that the questions did not registe. Can I copy -paste Sakshi's answers?

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1) No, hell. Respect my testosterones, for heavens sake. But even if i were a woman i wouldnt, unless iam a nymphomaniac and hunting for the next available dumb@$$ in trousers.

    2)Yes, that i would do. Whats the harm, most helmets are not concealed and one could see the face enough to differentiate Mr.Osama out.Are you asking this only to your LADY pals?

    3) No, teddy bears. Sucks....I would if it were some gadget, like would like a new Sony PS.On serious not, i wouldn't. I have a pride, what i want i will earn and get it for myself.No freebies for me.

    4)Yes, morning jogs. But i guess thats a reason. Otherwise, i dont move a muscle without a reason and you talk of running? I honour my laziness.

    5)How does it matter. John or John ka Baap.Ok, if its Bipasa or Kathrina, i might think of something else. If i can spare time, i may( only may) ask for a DATE.

    6)I would smile at him and ask him why is he always Udas?

    7) Pass tht question, I know no sensible girl would ever do that. If she does that i would think she aint sensible.

    Nice questionnaire. I am sure you are feeling much better now. Is everything Ok?TC:)))

    ReplyDelete
  6. Answers:
    1) yeah once i understand what is that actually!!! if i am wearing a saree, i will wear a blouse and to make that fit well enough i will wear a bra...and i think i will shorten the length of the sari first by cutting off the "anchal" and then make a dupatta out of it in case i forget to wear that blouse....*Bharatiya Nari*

    2)I go by looks...so may be i will ask him to take out that helmet first, then if i like his face, i might answer and if he is not so handsome or like John Abraham, i will give him a perfect direction as a reward for hiding that ugly face..i like people who are aware of how they look and accordingly appear to the world.

    3)A cake will be a better option if its so many times that i will get

    4)i am too lazy. may be i will take an auto that will take a U-turn from the turn ahead.

    5)I will wake up from my sleep and then again get back to sleep and snore

    6)I would ask him not to stand in the middle of the road and be responsible for traffic jam in this over populated country and i will also inform that the area is too devoid of young girls and guys to fall in love with, so he might get some other place to walk and sing

    7)that too on a t-shirt...Cheapo...and standing so far..i will have to get my glasses.

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  7. Baby!no cookings..no studyings..this doings?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rush,
    Academic questions will not be entertained :D
    Ya i think i will score 250 on this test!
    Sakshi,
    I think you have to get your test graded by Vanessa Paradis!!
    Nags,
    What?! me delete and your comment!? For all my crap you tolerate during the ping sessions I am eternally grateful...snif.can u sense the emotion?
    Aparna,
    I did not make the video, if I would have made it I would have got John to dress like Rakhi Sawant! You can choose from Sakshi/Priya/Zillionbig!
    Zilionbig,
    Some screws are missing man, but overall I think I am doing ok :P Never thought you would take the test so its was female oriented sorry!!
    Priya,
    OK lady thats it. You are no longer going to sitting in my class or be my BFF no way cos your answers are way too hilarious!!!! "Cheapo" I said the same thing when I 1st saw it hahahaha great minds think alike!
    HB,
    Amma!exam borings, studying is like dyings writing crap is yaaay-ings!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. God..I can do or say nything..cos I was loling all the time.you n esply Sakshi..both r super nuts..:P

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ok if no Johnny boy do I get John Boy??

    and please give me good grades as have never seen such a grade in my school life and see that has made me what I am today....putting graffiti aimlessly on blogs..sobs..SJ wonly you can save me and my future wonly you..

    ReplyDelete
  11. that was hilarious!! I woulnt mind a John look alike running after me though...

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  12. You get 1 mark less than full. hmmm that because you if had even managed to get hold of a handkerchief or any other small item from John it would have fetched you a much better bargain than all of Pankaj Udhas items put together ;-)
    But you get full marks for a really hilarous post :-) :-)

    ReplyDelete

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