Tuesday, July 7, 2009

H4 saga: Part 2-The initial days

Warning: Due to popular demand I had to continue this series. After reading it, if you lose your screws or are affected mentally in any way I am not to blame.

1 bowl of Quaker oats and a cup of coffee, Mr. A is off to make money, "Don't worry dahling, this is a very safe area. Just make sure you don't talk to anyone or make eye contact, don't pet the cats/dogs, don't go near those jurassic-park sized squirrels. I think you will be fine"
tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc...
only 9 am hmm...
tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc...
just 9.07 am ? Damn.
Gmail, Orkut, Facebook, MySpace
9.20 am Fck!
Orkut, orkut, Gmail.
Google " pirated Hindi movies"
9. 45 am arghhh!!!
Orkut, Facebook, Gmail, Orkut.
Google "Yahoo games"
10 am
"I am so bored. When are you coming home?"
"Dahling I just got here. I have a meeting now, later ok?"
10.30 am
Orkut, Facebook, Gmail, Orkut, Facebook
11am
tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc, tic, toc....
Orkut , Facebook
Google "how to make tomato rasam"
2 smashed tomatoes, one tamarind-paste smeared counter, one dal splattered wall and 1 cooker facial later, tomato rasam ready.
1 pm
"when are you coming home? I made rasam and all. Come soon"
"Meeting, meeting... later"
1.30 pm
orkut, orkut, facebook yawwwwnnn... ZZZzzzzzzz....
3 pm
Chai
3.30 pm
Orkut, Gmail, Facebook, Gmail
4 pm
Yahoo games
5 pm
"I want to go back to INDIA wahhh wahh wahhhhhhhhhh.... sniff sniff snort snort...I hate this place, I don't want to stay here anymore, sniff, sob, I am packing my suitcase, I hate this H4 visa, I hate everyone, I should not have married you sniff, I am going back home, sob, sob,sniff..."
850 ml tears
"Dahling, I am leaving right now. There, there everything will be alright. I will be home any minute now"
6 pm
2 hugs, 1 snot and tear covered Raymond shirt, 1 red-nosed Rani; teary but happy *I should have used this Meena Kumari act at 10 am!*

26 comments:

  1. Heh! heh! Awesome post....just like my life, except that I am still in India....
    This is my 1st time on this blog, but I am sure I'll be here more...

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  2. Hahaha SJ, this was priceless!! So are you doing the Meena kumari act right now? Try doing some Mallika Sherawat as well....may be he will forget office all together!!

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  3. hehehe :) nice one, btw did you also perform the same act?

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  4. hahhahaha really LMAO the one and only chin chin choo!!

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  5. LOL!!!!!!!!!!! cooker facial !!!!!!!! har har haa har haaaaaahaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Rani doesnt check yahoo msngr?

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  6. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA... I read both of them back to back and couldn't stop shivering with laughter. you rock SJ!! will this series continue still? I'm re-reading this.

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  7. Lolz....poor Rani's hubby can see he is soon gonna crack up big time..what with all the coming attractions of bollywood actress up Rani's sleeve *shudders*

    Btw loved the way you changed Rani's kitchen into a beauty parlour...now i too join the crowd and say GIVE US MORE of the H4 saga....*slaps myself for saying this*

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  8. poor A.........it's nothing new for H4...all the Indian homemakers behave the same way...ha ha.....why do you stop after a few scenes....spoilsport!

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  9. finally part 2..wanted to comment before reading..will get back here again soon!

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  10. lol..nice and funny.

    u kno last week, i came across this babe, one of the newly weds who came here a month back..she is suffering from severe depression, and will b possibly going back to india. she was hospitalised for few days..loss of memory, acute depression.
    still recovering but wants to go back, she just says one thing to me "i feel very lonely here..i had 30 people in my house back in india"
    i was almost in tears...an extravagant wedding, leaving a huge family back home, she comes here unaware of what she is gonna face. Her parents must have been very happy they found a soninlaw in the States, now i see endless rounds of calls and asking her to be bought back home.

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  11. @Ida,
    Thank you! Someone appreciates my humor!!!
    @Aparna,
    Well Malikka Sherawat act used to work now after 2 years of being together it doesn't work that well :P
    @Sonu,
    Made you laugh!
    @Parita,
    No no...Do i even sound like that Rani?
    @Sujata,
    Yaaayy!! I am the one and only! Thank you so much!
    @Ranju,
    Cooker facial is very good for rough skin try it once. You might lose your face ah..big deal, you get new baby soft skin! Yahoo msgnr no, cos Rani's friends are all working sniff..
    @Purn!ma,
    Ya, it depends on Rani!
    @Sakshi,
    Whether you ask or not, I will give some more!
    @Divya, Arch,
    Yes..poor Rani!
    @Sangeeta,
    ahem..I have no pity for Mr. A. I am fully on Rani's side. It sucks to be alone in this country on that dumb H4 visa. I can write only this much at a time!
    @ Rush,
    Ya, I make it sound funny but its not funny at all. I have seen many girls go nuts here (I was one of them) I can totally empathize with that girl. Its vey easy to say oh you can do this you can do that. But its very very hard here and SO different. sigh...
    @Nandu,
    aiooo...I am SO certain it will change. Hugs.

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  12. I think I should write this story from Mr. A's perspective. What fun that would be!! :D

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  13. This sounds waaay more fun than studying accounting and having to prep for the CPA exam which is 12 months away...!

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  14. SJ...waiting eagerly for the 3rd part....ROFL....awesome awesome...Meena Kumari is a sure shot i tell you...:D

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  15. If you think life is like that when you are in a foreign country on H4.....it is same here in India...when you are far away from native.....hubby dear leaves early and to avoid traffic jams starts early and to avoid traffic jams starts late from the office.......If friends are here.....they will be suiated a hour drive from your place....just talk on the phone...and if battery low no power then just sleeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp............hmmm life is all like that when you are here are back home......i think most of us have the same experience....i really like the humor touch given to that......

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  16. Mallika Sherawat act works all the time, even after 17 years. Incidentally my friend who has been in America for the last 17 years,still buys her bras from here.

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  17. ha ha ha.U glue ur readers to ur post yaar,hugs to u.

    Really after long had a good laugh :)

    Is this over here or more is there.If u had any intention to stop this here,pls don't do.Want to read and laugh more

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  18. @Nags,
    Hm...thanks for the idea :)
    @Ranj,
    Are you sure? Like sure sure? Think about it!
    @HB,
    Hm...I have no answer!
    @Kitchen flavours,
    I made a whole big post for you!!
    @Aparna,
    I think I need to learn some new smooth moves I say!
    @Varunavi,
    Hugs to you also! There might be more! Glad it made you smile!

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  19. ROFL! You are priceless!! And you have made me glad that I did not stay at home until after daughter was born :) Guess no time for yourself is better than too much time on your hands :)Loved it!!

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  20. SJ, have been reading your posts for some time, and I think you are hilarious and witty.
    I enjoyed your H4 saga series and I think you should totally continue writing this. I agree that most of us go through this phase after coming here, and it takes time to adjust.
    Acceptance plays a key part.

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  21. hey i wasn't giving the idea to you! I am going to write it :O

    gosh!!! some people i tell you!!

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