so NOT funny!

In order to compensate (yeah compensate) for the loss of their still born baby, Kate and John decide to adopt a child *why why? you have 2 kids already! Get a dog or cat!* They are attracted to a little girl *who is sitting all by herself when the other kids are having a riot downstairs* who is busy painting *like not 9yr old painting ok? It looks like some Picassa painting*. This little girl, *more like little creep* Esther *or freako* is adopted by Kate and John *or crackpots of the century* and they take her home.

Soon, weird things start to happen and Kate suspects Esther *freako* is not as angelic as she looks *Kate, what was I yelling at you?*. The headmistress gets murdered *reason why headmistress should not interfere in matters outside school* and Esther *freako* enlists the help of her sister Max who is deaf & dumb *poor child is just a sweetheart* to dispose the body. When Max's brother, Daniel suspects something is wrong, Esther *freako* threatens to cut off his penis *promise this is what she said* if he told his parents anything.

Then Esther *freako* ______ Daniel and he gets admitted in the hospital. Not satisfied with that Esther *freako* _______, leading Kate to slap Esther *freako*. John being the prototype of stupid men does not listen to his wife *MEN LISTEN TO THE WOMEN! THEY ARE BORN WITH SOMETHING EXTRA OKAY???* and suspects there is nothing wrong with Esther *freako* and leaves Kate at the hospital and takes Esther *freako* and Max *sweetypie* home *John, you rotten egg, you are going to pay for this*.

Esther being the freako that she is, dresses up like a _______ and tries to _______ John *holy fck!* Meanwhile Kate gets a call from the orphanage that Esther *freako* is not a child but a ________ *yeah Kate you mega tubelight? Did your bulb light up now?!!* She rushes home to save Max and John. But, she finds John lying in a pool of _________ *John, John, John, I hate to do this to you but, "I told u so I told u so na..na..na..I told u so!" you male chauvinistic pig, in your next avatar listen to your woman ok?*. Esther *freako* is now in her true avatar and is going around the house with a _______ searching for Max. Kate manages to save Max in the end *I have purposefully left out details of how she saves Max*.

So I come out of the theatre after watching this movie (its called Orphan, in case any of you are interested) with a severe headache, because of improper breathing (read: forgot to breathe in many scenes, overdose of oxygen due to excessive gasping in other scenes). Had a realllly bad sleep that night because I kept imagining Esther coming out from underneath my bed with a jack hammer! I got to my lab the next morning and went upstairs to another room to get ice. I opened the door and had a near death experience, when I saw :

staring at me!!

Zulfi, is usually kept the far end of the room. I am guessing the cleaners smoked pot the previous day and in their semi-conscious state decided to make Zulfie the official lab receptionist. Zulfie is pretty ok, just few teeth missing,

But he did scare the shit out of me that day.